The Story of the Lolness Monster

One day there was a boy. This was a seemly normal boy who was home one Thursday afternoon playing games on the internet. He had just pwned some n00b when suddenly, he heard a strange laughing sound coming from behind him.

"Mehaha. Mewhaha," went the voice. Shocked, the boy slowly turned around looking for the strange laughing creature.

"ARGH!" he yelled, see a large orange and white creature standing behind him holding a cheeseburger and a knife. "IT'S THE LOLNESS MONSTER!"

"I can haz blood," the creature said, laughing again....

When suddenly, from behind the Lolness monster jumped a ferocious internet troll who ate them all.

THE END.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, I had this dream last night. And in this dream, two remarkable things happened. The first one being that one of my teachers, Mr.G we shall call him, was selling Pocky at our school...

This is Pocky for those of you who don't know.

So anyway, he was selling three types of Pocky in the normal size boxes for $1 each. Needless to say, we were excited. BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! He was also selling these HUGE freaking boxes that were taller than... my friend who's height has been estimated at 5' 1 1/2". They were either $15 or $50, I couldn't tell what the teacher said. Either way, IMAGINE THE SIZE OF THOSE POCKY STICKS! It was love at first sight.

But wait, there's even more! THEY PUT BACON IN THE SALAD BAR! Yes, actual bacon, not that fake crap they put on salads. This was freshly cooked, warm and delicious bacon. The only small problem: you had to dig through all the bacon to find some that wasn't mostly fat. IT WAS GOOD BACON THOUGH.


"Quotes are nothing but inspiration for the uninspired." - I forgot to get the person who said this.


Song of the day: Dream Weaver by Gary Wright.